If you have a toddler, you already know the drill. Lights out turns into “one more hug,” then water, then a bathroom trip, then tears.
Toddler stalling bedtime is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting small kids. I’ve been there too, and I know how draining it feels night after night.
In this blog, I’ll walk you through why it happens, the most common stalling tactics, how to handle poop excuses, what other parents say, and real solutions that actually work.
With over a decade of parenting research and experience, I’ve got you covered.
Understanding Toddler Stalling Bedtime
Toddlers are wired to stay awake, and sleep feels like a loss to them. Their brains are growing fast, and they do not yet understand that rest helps them.
They also worry something fun is happening after they fall asleep. Hearing sounds or seeing lights still on makes that fear worse.
On top of that, bedtime means being alone, which can feel scary. Stalling gives them a small sense of control over their day.
And timing matters too. An overtired toddler gets a second wind and becomes harder to settle, while one who napped too late simply is not tired yet.
Common Toddler Stalling Bedtime Tactics
Toddlers are surprisingly creative when it comes to avoiding sleep.
The Requests That Never Seem to End
One book turns into three. One song turns into five. Toddlers learn fast which requests parents are likely to say yes to, so they stick with those. Then comes the water request right after lights out. Suddenly your child is the thirstiest person alive.
It is low-effort and hard to deny, which makes it one of the most common go-to moves. And then there is the poop excuse. This one is tricky because sometimes it is real. But many toddlers figure out quickly that saying they need to poop gets them out of bed with no pushback at all.
Fears and Getting Out of Bed
Monsters under the bed, shadows on the wall, strange sounds in the hallway. Fear is sometimes real and sometimes a tool, but either way it pulls parents straight back into the room. That is exactly what the toddler wants.
Some toddlers skip the excuses entirely and just walk back out. Over and over again. Without a calm and consistent response from parents, this habit builds fast and becomes the new normal within just a few nights.
When Toddler Stalling Bedtime Becomes a Bigger Sleep Issue
Sometimes stalling is more than a habit. Here is how to tell when something deeper might be going on.
Night Wakings and Battles That Go On Too Long
If your toddler is not just stalling but also waking up multiple times through the night, something deeper may be going on. One or two wakings can be normal, but if it happens every single night and your child struggles to settle back down, the bedtime routine alone may not be enough.
The same goes for bedtime battles that stretch past an hour. That is a clear sign the current schedule or routine is not working. It could mean bedtime is too early or too late, or your toddler has built a strong habit that needs a more structured approach to break.
Nap Changes and Sleep Regressions
If your toddler fights to sleep hard at night but still takes long naps during the day, the nap schedule may need adjusting. Around age three, many toddlers start dropping their nap or need it cut shorter. Holding onto a nap that no longer fits can make bedtime battles much worse.
Sleep regressions can also play a role. They are common at 18 months, 2 years, and around age three. During a regression, a toddler who previously slept well may suddenly resist bedtime and wake more often. These phases usually pass within two to four weeks with a steady routine in place.
How to Handle Toddler Stalling Bedtime With Poop
Poop-related stalling is common and manageable once you understand what’s behind it.
Why It Happens and How to Set Clear Limits
The body relaxes at night, which can trigger a real urge to go. But toddlers also learn fast that this request always gets a response. Build a bathroom stop into the routine before lights out so it becomes expected.
Then set one simple rule: one bathroom trip after the routine, and that is it. Most toddlers adjust within a week or two.
Stay Calm and Watch for Patterns
Keep your tone flat and your reaction small. A dramatic response teaches toddlers that this request gets attention. Watch for patterns too. If your toddler goes at the same time every night, it is likely real.
If the request only shows up after lights out and changes nightly, it is probably stalling. Stay calm either way.
Proven Toddler Stalling Bedtime Solutions for Parents
These strategies are practical, research-backed, and used by real families who saw results.
Prepare Your Toddler Before Bed Starts
Give your toddler a heads-up before the routine begins. Say “thirty minutes until bedtime” and then “ten minutes.” This reduces the shock of transition and helps them mentally prepare.
A visual chart with pictures showing bath, pajamas, brush teeth, story, and lights out also helps a lot. It gives your toddler something to follow and shifts the control from you to the chart, which they often accept more easily.
Give Small Choices and Use Simple Rituals
Instead of saying “go to bed,” try asking “do you want one book or two?” Small choices make toddlers feel heard and reduce pushback at each step.
You can also try a goodnight ritual where you walk through the house and say goodnight to toys, the dog, or the couch. It sounds funny, but it signals that the day is truly over and helps toddlers settle faster.
Stay Boring and Adjust the Schedule
When your child calls out after lights out, respond with a flat, low-energy voice. No fun conversation, no extra hugs. Keep it dull. Over time, stalling loses its reward and fades on its own.
Also check the schedule. If your toddler truly is not tired, try pushing bedtime fifteen minutes later or shortening the afternoon nap. Small timing changes can make a big difference quickly.
Tips to Stop Toddler Stalling Bedtime Faster
Small daily habits make the biggest impact when done consistently.
- Stick with the same routine every night for at least two weeks before changing anything.
- Once you say goodnight, mean it. Do not go back to negotiate.
- Use a low, flat voice if you must respond after lights out. Keep it boring.
- Say “I love you, goodnight” and leave the room with confidence.
- Reward your toddler with a sticker in the morning for staying in bed.
- Focus attention on good behavior, not stalling.
- Stay patient. Progress is slow, but it does come.
Conclusion
Toddler stalling bedtime is exhausting, but it does get better. I remember standing outside my child’s door at 10 PM, wondering if this would ever end. It did. The key is consistency and staying calm, even when you don’t feel like it.
Pick two or three strategies from this blog and stick with them. Progress is slow but steady.
If this helped you, leave a comment below and share what worked for your family. You’re doing better than you think, and your toddler will thank you for it someday.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my toddler always need to poop right before bed?
The body relaxes at night, which can naturally trigger the urge. Toddlers also learn that this request works well as a stalling tool and use it often.
How long does it take for a bedtime routine to actually work?
Most families see real improvement within two to three weeks. Staying consistent every night is the most important part of making it stick.
Should I ignore my toddler when they call out after lights out?
Complete ignoring isn’t always the best move, especially for anxious kids. A calm, brief response with no extra engagement works better for most toddlers.
What bedtime time works best for most toddlers?
Most toddlers do best with a bedtime between 7 and 8 PM. Overtired toddlers actually become harder to settle, so earlier is usually better.
Is stalling at bedtime a sign of a bigger problem?
In most cases, no. It’s a normal part of toddler development. If your child shows signs of strong anxiety or sleep problems beyond stalling, speaking with your pediatrician is a good step.